To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
