I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
