margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
