I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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