Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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