i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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