why didn't you poke me back
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize