It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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