I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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