I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
