So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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