Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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