belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish you could order shots online.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist