she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
