how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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