Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
