I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.