He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
