A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
