so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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