You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
