I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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