I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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