I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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