How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
