is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
