if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want to make out with him forever
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