Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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