I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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