Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
