I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
