Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
as a side note pls kill me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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