That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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