Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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