tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
