does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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