college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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