youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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