My hand turned me down
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you would pick up someone in the library
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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