the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
