yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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