I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We got so high we made milksteak
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She even gives head with a lisp.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
