She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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