READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
