i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
that may or may not have been my penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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