Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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