DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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