So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize