life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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