and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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