summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
