I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is Oprah even human
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
