week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a search helicopter?!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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