He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
