I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
