If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
