Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
