I'm going to jail i love you
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
