I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
