i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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