Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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