there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
