i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
