Your tits are I can't wait for
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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