Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize